Hello, world!

It has been a while and a lot has happened. Obviously, right? A little late of an announcement for my loyal non-existent following, but “He’s here!”.

Gautam, our baby boy, was born on the 14th of November, 2020. I was 38 weeks pregnant when, in the early morning hours of 13th November, 2020, severe tummy ache started. Since Masoom had tested Covid positive just the night before, I was convinced that I too had Covid. I called my Obgyn to discuss alternatives for delivery (I was pretty sure that C-sec was the only real option, ‘cuz who’s gonna allow a covid positive lady in the labour room?!). My doctor was. however, a little more optimistic, and asked me to go the hospital to ensure that I wasn’t in labour. And right she was! I may not have been covid positive that day, but I certainly was in early stage labour! Honestly, I was secretly praying to not have my baby on Friday the 13th, but it was what it was.

Labour day- I was the first patient to be admitted to the labour room that day. Another one joined me around noon. By 9pm on 13th November, my “labour-roomie” had delivered a baby boy, while I was still waiting. Dealing with labour pain, bored and alone, and still-nothing! My doctor told me that she would wait till 4pm the next day before insisting on a c-sec. My body, however, refused to cooperate. Hardly any dilation, despite being induced. But my doctor and her team knew how much I wanted to have a normal delivery. So, at around 12:30 on 14th November, in all her wisdom and experience with wuss patients like me, she advised me to take an epidural in order to handle the pain of manual intervention which was to follow. She had already given me a preview of what it was going to be like. Trust me, that pain was way way way worse than the labour pain which I was already dealing with. So I agreed.

Oh epidural, what a great thing! From a world of pain, I suddenly entered heaven. While I could still feel contractions, there was hardly any pain! The doctors then started the tugging and pulling with their hands to increase the dilation Thanks to the epidural, I could let them do their job without jumping up and down and howling my lungs out. But there’s only so much that even manual intervention could achieve. At around 3:30pm, i was only 5cm dilated, I had to reach 10cm. There wasn’t much hope left. I was preparing myself mentally for a c-section, when the kind nurse in the labour room- god bless her- emptied my bladder, and voila! Within the minute I went from 5cm to 10 cm and my baby started sticking his head out. He was born at 4:26:22pm, and weighed a healthy 2.75kgs. I will forever be indebted to the nurse (sister Howgai was her name) who asked me to remain optimistic throughout and kept my spirits high by saying “miracles happen here all the time!”. Of course, my doctor, who understood why I wanted a normal delivery and pushed for it. I’m sure any other doctor would have gone ahead with a c-section early on, given my history of miscarriages.

After labour- Unfortunately, Masoom could not be with me when Gautam arrived, though my doctor video called him immediately after the birth, while Gautam still had all gooey stuff on him. I on the other hand, could not stop crying. I will always remember the little blub trying to crawl on my chest right after he was born and placed on me for skin contact. That moment was the culmination of almost 3 years of waiting, and a beginning of the wonderful journey of motherhood. It is forever etched in a very special place in my heart. This is my bub right after he was born

Gautam came to us on Diwali, the festival of lights. So we wanted to pick a name that was well suited to the occasion. This is what Wikipedia says about the name “Gautam:

The name Gautam (also transliterated as Gautama or Gauthama and a vrddhi patronymic of Gotama) is one of the ancient Indian names and is derived from the Sanskrit roots “gŐ(गः)” and “tama (तम)”.”Tama” means “darkness” and “gŐ” means inter alia “bright light”.

One way to interpret the name could be that it signifies light (which depicts wisdom/knowledge) over darkness (or ignorance) or good over evil, which is what Diwali is celebrated for. However, to suggest that darkness is always bad would be to challenge a fundamental aspect of nature and existence- the aspect of nothingness. Our Rishis sought the darkness of the deepest caves to meditate. Sleep is darkness. So, I will not go there. I am too tiny a person to make such large statements. Instead, I will just tell you what my baby’s name means to me- Gautam means a balance of darkness and light. The understanding that everything in nature exists in duality. Right and wrong, good and evil are never absolute. True wisdom lies in finding that balance.

Over the next few posts, I will take you through the important milestones that Gautam has achieved and share with you the absolute delight this punter fills our lives with everyday! In the meanwhile, enjoy the short video of our journey into parenthood that Masoom compiled while he was under quarantine.

So long!